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April Fools on the arXiv

Here’s a post on Metafilter about papers posted to the arXiv on April Fools’ Day. They’re all from the physics section, but a couple are of the basically-maths sort of physics.

I had a look at the maths section for any papers with bizarre titles published on the 1st of April but I couldn’t find anything. A missed opportunity!

I did find a computer science paper with the title “Worst-Case Robust Multiuser Transmit Beamforming Using Semidefinite Relaxation: Duality and Implications,” which looked to me like something produced by a Markov chain paper title generator but it seems to be a serious paper about something or other.

All mathematical blogging to cease

The feeds at Mathblogging.org ran dry this morning following a realisation that every topic has now been covered.

The news prompted a major fall in the Mathblogging.org share price, sparking concerns about the aggregator’s future.

The news is particularly unwelcome for The Aperiodical, a blogging collaboration which is still yet to formally launch. The realisation came to light when the team behind The Aperiodical concluded that there was nothing new to blog about.

“We thought we could write a post about representing Sicherman dice as a different dissections of a diagram,” said Katie Steckles on behalf of the group, “but it’s been done”.

The team then thought they might write about the asymptotic distribution of a single eigenvalue gap of a Wigner matrix, a description of Nicolas Bourbaki’s wedding invitation or a story about a US President finding an original proof of the Pythagorean Theorem, but all have been written.

“We worked all through the night trying to think of ideas,” Steckles explained, “but came up blank. Every possible topic has been blogged somewhere, and there’s certainly no point in mathematics blogs repeating each other.”

So what now for the group? “We’ll just have to wait until someone invents some new mathematics.”

Until then, all mathematical blogging worldwide will cease and mathematical bloggers will have to find some other contribution to make. Some have announced plans to move down the xkcd purity scale until they find a subject that can be infinitely re-interpreted.

Put Alan Turing on bitcoins

Following the recent trend for Alan Turing petitions to be filed with the UK Government e-petitions website, and in particular the current Turing bank note petition, a new petition shows a satirical twist:

Alan Turing is a national hero. His contribution to computer science, and hence to the life of the nation and the world, is incalculable. The ripple-effect of his theories on modern life continues to grow, and may never stop.
There is a petition that calls upon the Treasury to request the Bank of England to consider depicting Alan Turing when new £10 banknotes are designed. However, given Turing’s contributions as a computer scientist, it should be much more appropriate for him to appear on a digital currency such as bitcoins.
We therefore call upon the Bank of England to consider depicting Alan Turing on bitcoins.

Bitcoins, for those who don’t know (so don’t understand the silliness), are described as:

an experimental new digital currency that enables instant payments to anyone, anywhere in the world. Bitcoin uses peer-to-peer technology to operate with no central authority: managing transactions and issuing money are carried out collectively by the network.