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This post popped into our news queue just before Christmas, and was forgotten about thanks to the seasonal good cheer. Well, it’s 2015 now, and our Nonsense Formula Disapprove-o-Matic is beeping angrily. We still can’t muster up enough enthusiasm to properly dig into this, so I’ve just tidied up the links I collected earlier on.

Eugenia Cheng (of nonsense formulas passim) has “found” the formula for the perfect doughnut, for Domino’s Pizza. Coincidentally, they’ve recently started selling doughnuts.

Actually, “formula” should be in quotes as well – the “formula” she gives is, drumroll…

\[ \frac{(r-2)^2}{4(r-1)} \]

Note that that’s not a formula.

Is this a nonsense formula for the perfect TV episode?

Stardate November, 2014. These are the continuing adventures of the website The Aperiodical. Its mission: to explore the pages of strange newspapers, to catalogue nonsense formulas, to boldly disapprove of them in ways no blog has done before.

What a joy it was to open my browser this morning and see this delicious headline waiting for me:

perfect tv formula

(by the way, most of the links in this post contain Downton Abbey spoilers. You have been warned.)

In a way, I’m beginning to like nonsense formula stories. You could say that

me + nonsense formula x q = happiness x 2

So, what’s going on this time? Who commissioned it, who sold their soul, and most important of all, does the formula make the least jot of sense?

Oh, Stephen

hawking penalty formula

“It is hugely complicated. In fact, compared to football I think Quantum Physics is relatively straightforward.”
– Professor Stephen Hawking

Even you, Stephen?

If you pick up basically any newspaper in Ireland or the UK today, you’ll probably find a story about Professor Stephen Hawking’s “formula for World Cup success”. At first glance, it doesn’t look good: The World’s Most Famous Scientist appears finally to have succumbed to the temptation of nonsense formula publicity.